Episode 121: Greed About the Mouth and Eyes

How old does a house have to be in order to be haunted? Is there a science behind this or perhaps some set of laid out rules? Or is it location, location, location?

Some houses become haunted because terrible things happened in them. Others were built on sacred or cursed land. Some houses are just born bad. Meanwhile, other houses are haunted because the script says so. In The House On Haunted Hill, it’s most likely just not haunted at all.

Yes, some horrible killings and mysterious things have occurred in the house, but when a party is thrown with capitalistic intent, nothing supernatural actually happens. Well, drops of blood unexplainably fall from the ceiling and there’s a severed head that briefly appears in a suitcase, but that’s it. And these things are not explained at all and are not essential to the plot.

The plot is nothing more than a rich guy jerk-off session. The man with the money commits a few crimes in order to protect his financial interests. And it’s painted in a way that makes him look like the good guy because he thwarts the attempted crimes of those around him who try to do him in. So the subterfuge and psychological manipulation is justified, because the rich white man was able to save himself. So unsatisfying.

And they could’ve picked a better house. Exterior shots of the supposed haunted mansion were of the Ennis House in L.A., designed by Frank Lloyd Wright in 1924. So a house that’s only 35 years old is haunted to its gills with seven ghosts? It’s possible, but it would be more believable if there was more of a history to the house. The interior design is done in a true Victorian style, evoking classic haunted creepiness, but it doesn’t fit with the blocky, Maya-inspired, art deco-y style of the building’s exterior.

Too much of this movie is style over substance. There is a lot to this movie that looks like it would be a good frightening adventure, but the story does nothing but prevent such fright. Maybe people were scared easier in the ’50s. At least this movie leaves us with some camp value and another superb Vincent Price performance. But don’t try looking for anything like long-term value or horror. It’s just not in there.